How Soon Is Now?
by Jay-La52
Summary: Before she's able to collect herself in order to meet Logan at Honor's engagement party, Jess bumps into Rory while she's at her lowest. Starts during 'Blame Booze and Melville' 5x21 .
1. Introduction: Hiding

Hiding

**Summary: Before she's able to collect herself in order to meet Logan at Honour's engagement party, Jess bumps into Rory while she's at her lowest. Set during 'Blame Booze and Melville' (5x21).**

**A/N: Another little idea that's been in my head for a while. The title is a song by The Smiths, because I couldn't think what to call it, and I'm obsessed with this song as of late. This does not mean that I'm stopping TTR, and I'll probably finish that before I carry on with this, if that's what I decide to do. Oh, and a few things about the fic: I'm not sure which came first, Truncheon or The Subsect, so I'm having Jess working for Truncheon, but not having published The Subsect yet. Also, in my mind, Rory had her little crying on the steps thing (see story) before collecting herself and going yacht-stealing, because otherwise this wouldn't really make sense alongside the series.**

**This is pretty much a short introduction; if I continue this fic, chapters will be longer. I doubt it'll usually be this angsty but, given the setting, this introduction had to be, but I'm generally more comfortable writing humorous banter, so I hope to revert back to that in the future.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The Gilmore Girls belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the title is the name of a (spectacular) song by The Smiths.**

Rory Gilmore, ace writer for the Yale Daily News, former regular inhabitant of the top three percent of Chilton, thank you very much, and first steady girlfriend of the one, the only, Logan Huntzberger, sank down onto the steps of the Stanford Eagle gazette, head buried in her hands as sobs shook her shoulders.

Unlike other times in her life when she'd been faced with despair and panic, there was no voice in her head saying 'suck it up, Gilmore, you're stronger than this.' No, that voice was in full agreement with the rest of her body, owing to the fact that there was no longer anything to be strong _for_, no dreams left to attain. Every single dream she'd ever had had been carelessly plucked out of her psyche and discarded by Mitchum Huntzberger. But hey, she thought, never mind that, because I'll be making someone an excellent secretary one day!

This thought caused her to replay the whole conversation in her mind once again, bringing about a fresh bout of misery. The fact that she was in a public place and that, within an hour or so, the crusher of her dreams would walk down the very steps on which she was currently perched didn't really occur to her. God, it was like the Huntzbergers had gotten together and planned how best to make her feel like something they'd be careful to step over in their vintage _Pradas_. Maybe she could get a job as a shoe salesperson, she thought, it must pay well, considering the amount of rich snobs traipsing around in them. Yes, that would be perfect, selling footwear to the very people who'd robbed her of all journalistic ambitions.

"Rory?"

She didn't even bother to look up as she heard that achingly familiar voice of her past. She chose to ignore it, knowing it was likely to be her mind taunting her. She heard him a lot lately, talking in her head. Sometimes she'd walk into a diner, and she'd swear she'd hear a sarcastic remark coming from across the room, or she'd close her eyes for a second in a cab – Ooh! She could be a cab driver! – and he'd be asking her to run away again.

"Rory," The phantom voice persisted.

"Go away," she moaned, "I'm pathetic enough as it is without adding 'talks to self' to the list."

It was funny; it had never been this real before, the voice inside her head. For a minute, she thought she could just stay there the rest of the night, listening to the voice of her old flame play inside her head, at least until some unfortunate street cleaner – Hmm, street cleaner? No, the hours were too bad for it to be a viable career option – found her on the steps. Then, she felt a distinct nudge on her shoulder.

Huh. She'd never experienced anything more than his voice in her head before, this might be the next stage in the insanity. She braved a peek upwards.

And there he was, Jess Mariano. And the real one, too; her memories could never do true justice to the man in front of her. She made a quick attempt to discreetly wipe away the tracks of mascara from her face before stealing a proper look at him. He'd grown up a lot since the last time she'd seen him, trimming the "I-don't-give-a-damn" haircut and banishing most of the unwarranted defiance from his eyes. He wore maturity well.

"It's really you?" She asked, finally, with a lost, child-like quality to her voice.

If Jess was surprised to find Rory Gilmore crying out in the street, he was struck equally bemused by her reaction to his sudden appearance. He'd expected shock, maybe anger after their last encounter, but instead she just seemed numb to the world. Knowing it was best not to pry into what had caused her to be like this, he fought his impulse to ask who'd done this to her so that he could happily beat the crap out of them and, instead, took a seat next to her.

"Yup, last time I checked I was still pretty solid." He said, in answer to her question.

She let out a quick laugh that sounded more like a whimper.

"I guess it'd be kinda redundant to ask how you're doing." Jess stated, still knowing after over a year that it'd be best to keep things light while she was in this delicate state.

She laugh-whimpered again, replying, "I guess so."

Jess wasn't sure what to do with his hands, having suppressed his instinctual 'Rory's crying' reaction to drape one over her shoulder as a form of comfort, remembering the fiasco that had been their last meeting. He knew he'd have to ask her what had caused her to enter this state at some point, but he wasn't sure she was equipped to answer as of yet. God, he hated this uncertainty! When they'd first met, she'd been the shy, unsure one, and he'd always known exactly what to do or say. Now, a glimpse at a crying brunette from across the street and he comes running. The fact that she didn't seem that surprised by his sudden re-appearance into her life (or at least her peripheral vision) was yet more cause for concern, and he fought back yet more questions as they sprung to his mind.

"What do you do when everything – every plan, every dream, your whole life – just falls out from underneath your feet?" Her small voice breaks through his thoughts, and – screw it – he gave in, draping an arm across her shoulder as she leaned her head onto his.

"Pack up and run away to California?" He suggested, weakly, hoping that enough time had passed that he could mention his cowardly departure without receiving a blow to the head. Luckily, he remained unscathed.

Another laugh-whimper, and then, "What are you doing here, Jess?"

"Business." He said, then expanded, "Which I know sounds like a foreign word coming out of _my_ mouth, but I'm with this publishing company now. They basically use me to run around the country for them, begging independent book shops to accept various works. They're good guys, though, they'd have to be to accept a guy with nothing but a heaving literary collection and an all-too-obvious lack of GED."

If each of his words hadn't felt like a blade between her shoulders, Rory might have found the fact that her nervous rambling habit had rubbed off on the world's most succinct man rather funny. Instead, her mind was just on what he'd said. Jess had a job. Jess was travelling around the country, doing what he loved. No doubt even the almighty Mitchum Huntzberger would agree that Jess had _it_, whatever this elusive "it" was.

"You're- wow, I can't believe you're..." she broke off as more tears ran down her face, before trying to sound as sincere as possible in saying, "Well done, Jess."

He gave her a hint of a smile, before her tears started to come again, fresh and raw, "Are you staying round here? Do you need a ride home?"

This only seemed to upset her further, "Oh, God, I can't go home, I can't do it! My mom and Logan and my grandparents, how am I supposed to tell them that I- that I failed?"

Fighting back the new onslaught of questions that sprang to mind – for starters, who the hell was Logan? – Jess backtracked quickly, "Okay, okay, no home. Home bad. Got it. So, do you plan on spending the night on this step because, as it turns out, you've kind of been blocking people off for the last twenty minutes."

Rory's eyes widened, as she looked around herself, as if noticing her surroundings for the first time, seeing all the business people – people that she'd spent the past week adapting to and working alongside – part in order to step around her and Jess. She quickly got up and began to pace on the sidewalk.

"I just- I want to hide."

"From what?"

She let out a dry laugh, "My life? My boyfriend? My boyfriend's father who, speaking of which, should be descending these very steps any second now? The person I thought I could be?"

Trying his very best to appear unaffected by the mention of her boyfriend, Jess pushed himself off the steps, signalling for a cab and replying to Rory with a nonchalant, "Okay."

"Okay?" She asked, "Okay what?"

"You can hide. For one night. I'm staying in a hotel nearby, I'll sleep on the couch, you can take the bed." He replied, getting into the cab that had just pulled up, "Or, you could stay on the steps and wait for someone to trip over you and sue you for injury."

"Okay," she agreed, unsurely, before repeating, with the most certainty he'd heard in her voice that night, "Okay."

She got in beside him, and they drove in silence, before her voice rippled through the darkness.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

**A/N: Not really sure whether I'm continuing this or not, depends on the response, since I'm not particularly sure about it, myself. I definitely won't be finishing it until I'm done with 'There's The Rub', which still has about four chapters to go which, knowing me, could take a while. Anyway, please review, and let me know whether to continue, or whether you liked it, or even what colour socks you're wearing, I just like reviews.**


	2. New Routine

**A/N: I know I said I wouldn't update this until TTR was done, but I've been finding this much more fun to write, and the reviews have been so lovely, so I decided to stick with this for a bit. I'll probably interchange between this and TTR until it's finished, because this is proving easier to write at the moment. Anyhoo, I apologise if it seems a bit unrealistic how Rory is instantly reassured in this chapter, but I really hated the whole dropping out of Yale thing, so I wanted to try to move past that blip. Oh, and also, sorry if Logan is out of character, I'm really not good at writing him, and just sorry for any OOC-ness in general.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Hooray. The name of the chapter is a Fountains of Wayne song, because I never know what to name chapters so now I'm choosing by shuffling my iPod, so expect odd titles in future.

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Rory woke up to an unfamiliar bed and the previous night's mascara residue still traced down her cheeks. The latter piece of evidence and the unmistakably familiar scent of cigarettes and vanilla prompted her to recall the events of the previous night, making her slump back onto the pillow with a sigh. Although not as fresh, Mitchum's words still stung away in the back of her mind and the fact that it had been Jess who had witnessed her meltdown only added to her mortification. As unbelievably grateful as she was for his actions the night before, he was still the last person she expected – or wanted – to approach her mid-breakdown. She was supposed to have been able to collect herself, then put on her "Logan's-girlfriend" mask and go to Honor's engagement party, but she knew Jess would see through any act in a second. This was a trait that she had loved during their all-too-brief time together, but feared now that she wasn't so sure who she was anymore.

The smell of bacon roused her from bed and she followed it into the kitchen area, where she found Jess making an array of bacon, omelettes and pancakes. She grinned as her mind went back to entering the diner every day, snatching glances at his reading form from across the room.

"You never told me you could cook," she accused, eyeing the food with scarcely concealed hunger.

He smirked over at her, glad to see her in slightly better spirits, "I worked at a diner for two years, did you really think I never learned how to make an omelette?"

Rory scoffed, "Worked? I saw you read, I saw you annoy Taylor, I saw you scare off potential customers with your charming demeanour, but I never saw anything that could be classed as work."

Jess chuckled, "I put up with Kirk, didn't I? That was work."

"Yeah," Rory conceded, grabbing some food and sitting down at the table, "but you also swapped all the salt for sugar, charged Kirk $30 for a refill – which he would have paid if Luke hadn't intervened – and ignored Taylor until he was at the point of insanity."

"Yeah, well, I said I worked, not that I worked _well_."

Rory laughed, letting a comfortable silence fall over them as she ate her breakfast with a speed only a Gilmore was capable of. She'd rather hoped the light banter would last longer, because now she was filled with tension as she waited for him to start asking questions about the mess that she'd been the night before.

After a while, she decided to broach the subject herself, just to get it over with, "You can ask, you know."

"Okay: how is it physically possible to eat that fast?"

She grinned, "Not what I was referring to, but if you must know: it's a gift. No, I was actually talking about the wreck I was last night."

"Ah," he replied, still not entirely sure how to approach the subject, "well you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Rory offered him a small smile, "Thanks, but I think I owe you some kind of explanation after just breaking down on you last night, so here goes..."

She could practically see the anger rising within him as she explained what had led her to the humiliating, tearful state that she had been in the night before. His hands tightened on the arms of his chair and his eyes darkened as she repeated what Mitchum had said. She couldn't help feeling a little better as she saw that, after all these years, he still cared for her enough to get angry on her behalf. Of course, it was purely out of a sense of friendship; she knew that, after this long, he couldn't possibly house any stronger feelings for her. The fact that this stung her almost as much as Mitchum's words surprised her, so she put that thought to one side as she rounded off her story.

She sighed, deflating slightly as she pushed the memory of last night from her mind.

"What a jerk," was all Jess could manage to say, after censoring the description which initially came to mind.

Rory bit her lip slightly, "I don't know, he's the biggest name in journalism in the country, he knows what he's talking about..."

"Rory, you cannot listen to this guy!"

"He's Mitchum Huntzberger, if there is one man whose opinion to take into account, it's him."

"You think he can tell anything about you from the five minutes he actually spent talking to you? C'mon, Rory, anyone who spends five seconds with you without realising how amazing you are cannot be that good a judge of character."

Surprised at the out-and-out compliment in comparison to the evasive Jess of her memory, Rory took a moment to reply, "But you said so yourself, you thought it was too rough for me, and you knew me better than- better than Mitchum." She finished, biting back her instinct to end that last sentence with "anyone".

Jess momentarily taken aback by the fact that she still remembered his words of that night, and inwardly cursed the lack of tact possessed by his former self, "And, if you remember, I took it back around two seconds later," he replied.

"Yeah, but you also promised to drive at me screaming in a foreign language which you have yet to do, so how am I supposed to trust anything you say?" She teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey, it's not my fault you never taught me that foreign language."

"Well, in my defence, you were an awful student."

"Just because no one shares your insane love of schooling. Speaking of which, how's Yale?" He instantly regretted saying this when her face took on a doubtful expression.

"I thought...I thought Yale was the perfect place for me, but now...I guess I'm just gonna have to reconsider some things."

"Like what?"

"Maybe take a year out or something? I don't know, I don't want to waste my time trying to do something I'll never succeed in."

"Rory, c'mon, this isn't you – allowing one rich jerk to make you question everything!"

"He wasn't being a jerk; he was giving me his honest opinion!"

"Okay," he said, trying not to provoke her while she was still in such an unsure frame of mind, "okay, say you take a year out, what will you do? Hang around Stars Hollow doing nothing?"

"I could work..."

"Doing what? Can you honestly tell me there's anything you'd rather be doing than journalism?"

"No, but-"

"Exactly, do not let this guy take away something that you love, and don't pretend that you don't love it, because you can tell that just from reading one of your articles."

She paused for a moment, surprised, "When have you read any of my articles?"

A smile tugged at her lips as she recognised the return of squirmy, evasive Jess, "Luke sent me some stuff, now and then..."

"You asked Luke to send you some of my writing?"

"It was no big deal, I was just curious," he replied, slightly embarrassed, but glad to see her smiling again.

"And? What'd you think?"

"Your writing? I love that it's always completely genuine, completely you," he said, enjoying the way she practically glowed at the praise, "and the fact that you can make a review of a ballet into something I'd actually want to read is quite an achievement."

"Oh God, I remember that review, that ballerina pretty much hunted me down the next day, I'll have to tell you about it later."

"Later?"

She blushed slightly, realising that she'd implied that there would be a 'later', which was always hard to tell with them.

"Yeah, later."

"Huh," he said, smiling slightly.

Reluctantly, Rory said, "I guess I should be leaving, I kind of dropped off the map last night, and Lo- Mom will be wondering where I am."

She frowned slightly as she wondered why she'd instinctively covered up Logan's presence in her life.

"Okay."

"Thank you for breakfast, and for rescuing me last night, I have no idea what I would have done if you hadn't."

"Anytime, just please don't let that ass stop you doing what you want to do."

She looked back at him from where she'd stood to go to the door, "You really think I can do it?"

"You're Rory Gilmore, you can do most things that don't involve cooking or team sports."

She laughed, "I thought I was supposed to be the one holding the pom-poms," she said, referring again to her failed night of tutoring.

"I'm sorry, are you comparing me to a cheerleader?"

"A very manly cheerleader, I'm sure."

"Okay, I think you can go now," he replied, smirking.

Nodding, she made for the door, before turning back again, "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think there's any chance you'll be around New Haven on business again anytime soon?"

"I do get some choice in where I go, so if there's a particular reason to come here, I'd say there's a strong possibility. Is there a reason?" He asked, knowing that, at this stage, it was best to keep things tentative.

She nodded, "I'd say there's a definite reason. Besides, I don't like your habit of disappearing."

This sentence brought back some of the guilt for his actions over the last few years, particularly those that concerned the woman in front of him, "No disappearing, I promise. In fact, here, take my cell number," he said, quickly scribbling the number down onto a napkin.

"Wow," Rory said, taking the number, "Jess Mariano conforming to the constraints of modern society, who knew."

He rolled his eyes, "The guys at work insisted I get a cell. You're not the only one who dislikes my disappearances."

"Okay, I guess I'll see you around then," she said, finally making an exit.

* * *

"Traitor!"

"Now, is that anyway to greet your only daughter when she finds it in her heart to visit you?" Rory said, laughing as she walked past Lorelai into the Gilmore home.

"If the daughter in question ditched her at her mother's house, leaving her to deal with a raging Emily and an offended Russian man – I'm really going to have to start censoring my Stalin references – in order to do something as insignificant as trying to achieve her dreams, then uh-huh, yeah, traitor sounds about right." Lorelai replied, following Rory into the living room and taking a seat on the couch by her.

Rory tried not to show any indication of what had happened the previous night, delaying talking about it by keeping things light, "Ah, I see, my dreams take a backburner to things involving Grandma."

"Yes! This is the system, how have you not got with the programme yet? You don't leave mommy alone with Grandma for _anything_, short of earthquakes, and even then, it has to be a serious earthquake, not just something that knocks over a couple of vases, we're talking the ground breaking apart to swallow you up, here!"

"Oh, right! I forgot the last part, see, I didn't come because I was only involved in a _minor_ earthquake, I'll know better for next time."

"Good to know," Lorelai replied, before adding, "but, seriously, why didn't you show up?"

Rory took a deep breath, before explaining for a second time that day what had happened. She tried to get through it as quickly as possible, not exactly relishing having to keep repeating what Mitchum had said. She carefully left out the events that'd happened after her conversation with Mitchum, knowing that Lorelai tended to have a very adverse reaction to anything involving Jess.

"Okay, I hate this guy," Lorelai pronounced at the end with steely finality.

"Yup, that seems to be the general consensus."

"And this isn't just your average hate; this is the kind of hate that starts wars..." She continued, as if Rory hadn't said anything, "God, and how much does he even know about you? Has he read your work? Has he talked to your teachers? Has he done anything other than marched around that office like Donald Trump giving you orders? No!"

"He says he knows when someone has 'it', and I don't."

"Ugh, could he sound anymore arrogant? You cannot listen to this guy." Lorelai said, before pausing to scrutinise her daughter, "You seem oddly calm about this, how are you so calm?"

"I've just been doing some thinking, and I don't think I should let one guy put me off what I've been doing my whole life, especially after how the rest of his family treated me," Rory said, with more certainty in her voice than she actually felt.

"That's...great, I'm so glad you feel that way!" said Lorelai, unused to Rory handling setbacks with this level of calm, "Did you talk to Logan about it? Did he reassure you?"

"Uh, no, I haven't spoken to him yet; I didn't really think I could face him straight away after this whole fiasco." Rory paused for a minute, wondering whether to tell her mother the whole story of where she'd been that night, but she really didn't want to hear her mother's opinions on Jess again so, averting her eyes, she added, "Is it that hard to believe that I came to the conclusion on my own?"

"No, no of course not," Lorelai backtracked, "but it'd have been perfectly understandable for this to have thrown you a bit, but I'm really happy that you've been able to handle this just fine on your own." And then said, in a mock-offended tone, "Of course, I did have several motherly pep talks in line, but never mind, I know when I'm not needed..."

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll manufacture a breakdown for you over the summer." Rory replied, her tone consolatory.

"It'd be much appreciated," Lorelai said, "so, are you staying here for the day?"

"Nope, got one more final to do, then I'll be back for the summer tomorrow. Though, if I'm going to be greeted with nothing but insults, maybe I'll have to reconsider..."

"Well, we have rooms free in The Dragonfly if you can no longer handle my domestic abuse."

"I think I'll chance you over Michel, thanks," Rory said, laughing as she started to head out.

"You sure you're okay?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, I think I'll be fine, may take a while to forget, though." Rory said with a sigh.

"He's just one rich, arrogant jerk, hon."

"Besides, by the time I get back, you'll probably have thought up several inventive nicknames for him."

"Already have seven and two limericks."

"Well, if that hasn't given me an incentive to come home, I don't know what will," Rory replied, grinning, "I'll see you tomorrow, mom."

"See you, kid."

* * *

Rory breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped out of her last final, already looking forward to a long summer of time spent with her mom in Stars Hollow, hoping she'd be able to fully move past her disastrous internship. As she walked out, she noticed Logan waiting for her, and she grinned as she noticed the two cups of coffee in his hands.

"You know me well," she said, smiling as she gave him a quick kiss and taking one of the coffees.

"Oh, I'm sorry; these are actually both for me."

"You know, I'd believe you, but I really think after years in the Life and Death Brigade your self-preservation skills are better than that," she said, falling into step beside him.

"True, it'd take a braver man than me to deny Rory Gilmore coffee."

"Glad to hear it."

"So," he said, taking her hand as they walked, "you never came to the engagement party last night."

For the second time that day, Rory struggled with whether or not to tell the truth about the night before, deciding that she'd rather Logan didn't know about what happened, partly because she didn't want to stir up things with his father, but mainly because she was still humiliated about the whole ordeal.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, I was just really tired and went straight home. I meant to call, sorry."

"No, it's fine, I know my father: he tends to shamelessly overwork interns. He thinks everyone shares his nocturnal tendencies." Logan replied, before adding, "So, am I right in thinking you're free now? No more finals?"

"Yup, all finished."

"So, wanna do something tonight before you go home? Colin and Finn realised that they've yet to get arrested this year and aim to rectify that, should be fun, you in?"

Rory smiled as she thought of that pair's various antics, "Yeah, I'll be there, but first I better give my mom a call. Pick me up in a half hour?"

"Sounds good." Logan said, pulling her in for a kiss before leaving her at the door of her room.

Rory got in, and immediately grabbed the phone, digging around in her purse for the napkin Jess had given her and dialling the number.

"Hello?"

She smiled as she heard his voice again, a warm feeling filling her up at the prospect of having him back in her life again, "Hey."

She heard a chuckle from the other end of the line, "You thought I'd be disappearing already?"

"Well, you can never tell..." she replied, her grin evident in her voice.

"So," he replied, "I remember being promised a story about a man-hunting ballerina."

Rory's smile widened and she began to recount the tale.

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**A/N: So, here comes the part where I beg for reviews. Please? I don't have any cookies to give, but I can give you some slippers in the shape of Yoshi, which beat cookies in my opinion.**


	3. Hanging on the Telephone

**A/N: Eek, this chapter was a lot harder to write than the other two. Probably because I wrote it at around 3am after an incredibly stressful day (basically, I lost my passport, and I'm going to Greece on Friday, and it all just sucked, and the stupid passport people wouldn't let me get one in time, but I found it, so all is well), but oh well, here it is anyway.**

**I have decided to definitely write this and TTR at the same time, so will just update them alternatively. I may be able to get an extra chapter of TTR up before I go on holiday, but I don't think there's going to be any more of this fic before Friday, when I'm going on holiday for two weeks, so that means no more of this fic for around three weeks, sorry!**

**Oh, and if anyone is confused by the conversation in the first part of this chapter, refer back to the Mitchum/Rory conversation in 5x21, I tried to make it as much like that as possible.**

**Disclaimer: The chapter title is a song by Blondie. I own nothing. In this fic, anyway. I obviously own a laptop, and various other objects...yeah, I'll stop typing now.

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Rory allowed herself to be led to her and Logan's dinner table, enjoying the comforting feel of her boyfriend's hand on the small of her back. She smiled at him as he pulled her chair out for her, basking in the semi-new relationship excitement. He took a seat opposite her, and she was surprised to see him looking over at her with furrowed eyebrows, as if trying to find the right way to phrase something. Outside, it started to rain.

"You know, you and I haven't really sat down and talked about the situation, about how we're doing in this relationship, and all," he said, speaking at last.

"Well, you've been busy," Rory replied, helpfully, while shrugging off the strange suspicion that she'd had this conversation before.

Logan shifted a little in his seat, "I've meant to. It was my idea, us being exclusive. It's part of the deal."

"Great! I'd love your feedback," Rory replied, before frowning, wondering why she'd phrased that so oddly; the words had just tumbled out of her mouth.

"I've dated a lot of girls over the years. Some casually, some flings. I've got a pretty good gut sense for people's strengths and weaknesses-"

Rory stared at him in shock, finally grasping where she'd heard this conversation before. Blinking back tears, she interrupted him, "Logan, no..."

The rain began to drum down harder against the window panes.

Logan continued, "I know whether girls have that certain something to make it as a Huntzberger."

The tears were falling freely now, "Logan, stop, please!"

"It's a tough family. Lot of stress."

"Just stop it; I don't want to talk about this anymore!"

"And, I have to tell you-"

"Logan, _please_," she was practically begging now, desperate not to hear the words that she knew were about to come out of his mouth.

"-You don't got it." There was a crackle of thunder from outside.

Horror rang through Rory's head. Literally, rang. In fact, surely that ringing wasn't just in her head; it was everywhere, shrill and intrusive. She looked to Logan, the other customers, no one had noticed – why hadn't anyone noticed?

Rory sat bolt upright in bed, jerking out of her nightmare as the phone continued to ring.

Blinking dazedly, she grabbed her cell, flipping it open and letting out an exhausted, "Hello?"

"Rory!" She frowned at her mother's energetic tone, "You are not going to believe what I have to tell you!"

"Mom, it's six thirty. In the morning."

"Well, duh," her mother said, as if it was every day that she called at this ridiculous hour, "but, never mind about that, listen to my news!"

Rory groaned, "And this couldn't have waited until I came home later today?"

"No! Well, maybe, but I wanted you to be the first to know, and it's bound to have spread around the whole town by noon."

Rory sighed, falling back onto her pillow, "Fine, what's your news?"

"I'm engaged!"

At this, all former thoughts of sleep dropped out of Rory's head as she shot back up into her sitting position, so quickly that she accidentally hit her head against the headboard. Not deterred by her now throbbing head, she replied, "Oh my God! I can't believe it! You and Luke- wait, it is to Luke, right?"

"No, Taylor, something about a man in a sweater just makes my knees go weak."

"Ew, don't joke."

"Of course it's to Luke!"

"Just checking," Rory said, laughing happily, "So, tell me! How did it happen?"

"Well, last night, I was recounting the whole Mitchum internship debacle and, I dunno, he was just so angry on your behalf, and saying all these things and it just struck me all at once: how much he cares about both of us, how much I love him, and all he's done for us over the years. I mean, he's practically a father to you already. And so I asked him to marry me," she said, almost all in one breath. "Oh, and he said yes," she added as an afterthought.

"Mom! This is huge! Have you got any idea when you want it?"

"No, I have no idea about anything, which I was slightly concerned about, until I thought 'hey Lorelai, no need to worry, you gave birth to an organisational freak'."

"You may be joking now, but literally the second I get back, we're starting to plan."

"See? That's what I was talking about! I finally found a use for you!"

"Well, that's good, after almost twenty-one years you deserve some kind of pay-off." Rory laughed, before squealing, "Oh, mom, I'm so happy for you! What kind of dress do you want? Have you set a date? Do you know where you want it?"

"Slow down there, roadrunner, I just got engaged last night. Do you wanna plan my retirement, also?"

"Sounds good, don't forget your funeral, too."

"So long as there's not too much black." Lorelai quipped, before saying, "I guess I better go, my 'I'm-engaged' buzz is starting to be replaced with an 'it's-six-forty-and-I-should-be-unconscious' buzz."

"I don't think you can call that a buzz."

"Whatever, what do I know? It's six forty in the morning; I don't know my last name at six forty in the morning."

"You're the one that insisted on calling now."

"Yeah, well, at least I dragged you down with me."

"Don't get cranky, you brought this on yourself."

"Hanging up now."

"Okay, love you," Rory said, before adding, sincerely, "and I'm really happy for you, mom."

"Love you too, kiddo. And thanks, I'm happy for me, too."

Rory could practically hear her mother's smile before the line cut out. She sank back into her pillows, trying to go back to sleep, despite knowing that her attempts would be fruitless after her dream. She'd hoped she'd be able to move past her Stanford Eagle Gazette experience without a backwards glance, but apparently her subconscious had other plans. The fact that it had been Logan delivering Mitchum's words made the dream feel more haunting, making Rory give up on sleep altogether, sitting up and pulling out her phone to text the one person who'd been successful in making her feel better about the whole situation.

Unsure of what to say, seeing as their friendship was still on very tentative ground, Rory settled with news which applied to both of them. She typed _Mom and Luke are engaged!_ before selecting Jess from her contacts and, after a moment's hesitation, pressing send.

She waited for a minute, before realising that Jess – like many fortunate people with slightly less eccentric mothers – was probably asleep, and tossing her phone back onto the table with a certain amount of disappointment. She didn't really know where this sudden desire to contact him came from, it was just that, talking to him the night before, she'd realised how much she'd missed him over the past couple of years. She'd never really allowed herself to admit it to herself just after he'd left, throwing herself into her Europe trip, then into college, then, unfortunately, into the arms of a married guy to take her mind off it. Then, after she was able to think about him without wanting to cry, she wasn't able to talk to anyone about him, seeing as he was a sore subject with just about everyone. She jumped as the buzzing of her phone pulled her out of her thoughts, grabbing it and opening her new text.

_I know this thing has been a long time coming, but couldn't they have waited until a time when over 1% of the population are awake to announce their sealing the deal?_

Rory chuckled as she typed her response, _It happened last night, my darling mother decided to call and tell me the news at 6.30, so I figured I might as well bring you down with me. Be thankful, you got a whole 15 minutes more sleep than I did._

The response came a little quicker this time, _How very generous of you. Give them my congratulations when you next see them, please? That is, if you can mention me around your mother without starting the apocalypse._

Rory bit her lip as an idea suddenly struck her, typing her reply and allowing her thumb to linger over the send button for a minute before giving it a tentative press.

_Will do. Hey, what are you doing for the rest of today?_

A reply came almost instantly, _Nothing much. Why?_

Rory typed out her message, her thumb lingering once again over the send button as she considered unsurely how it was going to be received. Deciding to bite the bullet, she hit send.

_Why don't you congratulate them in person? I'm heading back there today, you could come to Yale and then we could go down to the Hollow together._

She stared at her phone for a while, hoping that hadn't been too forward a move in their still fragile friendship, unable to help noticing that the response was taking a little longer to come than it had before. Finally, the phone buzzed again.

_You sure the town hasn't set up a Jess Mariano ban by now?_

She smiled slightly, typing back, _Not that I know of. Besides, surely Taylor's expression when he sees you again will be enough to make the trip worthwhile._

_That's a good enough incentive for me. I'll be at your dorm at 10, bearing coffee?_

Rory's smile widened, as she replied, _10's good. And, if you plan on being let in, coffee's always a good plan._

She sent him her address, and then shut off her phone, falling back happily onto her bed and, to her surprise, finding that she was able to fall back asleep with a much clearer head than before.

* * *

Rory was packing the last of her stuff into boxes, after having recuperated somewhat from her hideously early awakening through a couple of extra hours of sleep, when the knock at the door came. She opened the door to Jess carrying, she noted with satisfaction, two cups of coffee. She smiled as the warm feeling she'd felt during their phone call the night before spread through her, still not used to him being a regular fixture in her life.

"Ah, a man carrying coffee, my favourite sight in the world," Rory said, taking the cup that was offered to her.

"Yup, and seeing as I brought it, does that allow me inside?" He asked, smirking.

Rory held up a finger, taking a sip of the coffee, slowly, allowing her expression to sink into one of deep thought, "Mmm, good coffee, you can come in," she said, stepping aside, grinning.

"Huh. There are a lot of boxes here," Jess observed, looking around.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Rory replied, as innocently as possible.

"I'm starting to suspect inviting me down here was just an elaborate ruse in order for me to help you move your stuff."

"Well, if you're _offering_..." Rory said with an overly innocent smile.

Jess rolled his eyes, suppressing one of his trademark smirks, as he headed over to grab one of the boxes.

"Hey, wait a minute," Rory said, causing him to turn around, "there's something I want to show you before we leave." She turned to leave the apartment, gesturing for her to follow him.

"But the boxes..."

"Will still be here when we get back," she finished for him, "we just need to make a quick pit stop."

Slightly intrigued, Jess followed her out of her place, allowing her to lead him across campus, falling into easy conversation as she pointed various places out to him. Finally, they reached a huge building, and Rory turned to face him when they reached the doorway.

"So," she started, "after you rescued me the other night, I figured I kinda owe you, so," she opened the door behind her, "Jess Mariano, allow me to introduce you to Yale University Library. Over twelve million volumes, all at your disposal. You're welcome."

Stepping past her into the building, Jess had to stop himself gaping at the hundreds, thousands of shelves, all lined with books. Turning back to Rory, he said, "Okay, I think you can consider us more than even."

Rory followed him in, smiling widely.

* * *

After eventually having to practically drag Jess from the library to load her stuff into the car, they travelled home, ensconced in their usual fun banter, then she dropped him off at Luke's to see his uncle, while she travelled home to see her mom. Pulling into the driveway, she grabbed one of her boxes, stumbled unceremoniously to the door under the heavy load, giving it a kick instead of knocking, considering both of her hands were occupied.

"Why, hello, floating box with legs, have you seen my daughter?" Rory heard her mother's voice from behind the box.

Rolling her eyes, Rory set down the box in the hall, replying, "How can the box be floating if it has legs?"

"Details, details," Lorelai shrugged off, before saying "come here," and pulling her daughter into a hug.

"Mom, I saw you yesterday," Rory said, laughing, but hugging her mother back none the less.

"Ah, but yesterday, I was merely Lorelai Gilmore, and today I am the future Mrs Danes. Or Danes-Gilmore. Or Gilmore-Danes. Or just Gilmore, I haven't decided yet, the point is...what was the point?"

"That you're overly sentimental and can't even bare to go a day without me anymore?" Rory joked, walking back to the car to grab another box.

"Something like that," Lorelai replied, following her out.

"A little help please?" Rory said, gesturing to the rest of the boxes.

"Little tip?" Lorelai said, staggering under the weight of a box, "Maybe leave _some_ of your reading material at Yale?"

"Aww, but then they'd get lonely," Rory replied with a pout.

"Seriously, it feels like you've got bricks in here, how long did it take you to load all these things into the car in the first place?" Lorelai asked, as they dumped the last of the boxes into the hallway and both took a seat on the couch.

"Actually," Rory started, hesitantly, realising it was probably time to tell her mother what she'd been putting off ever since a certain person re-appeared into her life, "I kinda had help."

"Oh, Logan helped you?"

"No, it was, uh, Jess," Rory mumbled, looking at the floor.

"What was that?" Lorelai asked, "I don't think I could have heard you correctly."

"It was Jess, mom," Rory said again, louder this time.

"No, still can't have heard right, I thought you said it was _Jess_ who helped you move your things."

Rory sighed, knowing her mom was going to make it hard for her, "You heard fine, mom."

"No, I can't have. Because, the last time you saw Jess, he was asking you to abandon your school and your family and your friends to run away to some mouldy, shared apartment in New York with him, so I don't see how he's suddenly turned into your moving service."

"I saw him before that," Rory explained, "the night of the whole thing with Mitchum, I bumped into him."

"What the hell was he doing lurking around Stanford?"

Rory rolled her eyes, "He wasn't lurking, he was there on business, he has a job now, and he's changed, mom, he really has. I didn't exactly tell you everything that happened the night of the internship-"

"Oh, really? You only neglected to mention the reappearance of one of my least favourite people in the world into your life, no biggie."

"Will you just hear me out?" Rory asked, exasperated, waiting until her mother grudgingly fell silent and gestured for her to carry on before continuing, "Well, that night, I was kind of a mess. Mitchum had told me that I'd never be able to be a journalist and I just...I just wanted to hide from the world. And then Jess came along and, God I don't know what the hell I would have done if he hadn't, but he took me in, let me stay in his hotel room for the night," she held up a finger to pre-emptively silence Lorelai, who'd just opened her mouth to protest, "before you say anything about ulterior motives: it was perfectly innocent, he even let me take the bed and he slept on the couch. Anyway, the following morning, I was still kind of miserable, and wasn't thinking straight, and was saying stupid things about not wanting to go back to Yale or something, and Jess talked me out of it. I was the one who asked to keep in contact, not him, and I'm the one who hid it from you, so if you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me," Rory finished, eyeing her mother uncertainly.

Lorelai sighed, deflating, "Did you have to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make it so darn hard for me to dislike the guy."

"You're the one who was so determined to hate from the beginning," Rory said, glad that Lorelai seemed to be handling the news reasonably well.

"Yeah, well, back then he was stealing beers out of my fridge and being an ass to Luke, not easing my daughter out of a nervous breakdown." Lorelai responded, weakly, knowing that she was fighting a losing battle, "So, why was he helping you move your stuff today?"

"Well, after I was rudely woken up, I had trouble going back to sleep, so I texted him about you and Luke getting engaged, and then suggested that, since he wanted to see Luke to congratulate him, we come to Stars Hollow together."

"Wait you mean he's here?" Rory nodded, "So now I actually have to be _nice_ to him?"

Rory laughed at her mother's tone, "Well, you don't _have_ to."

"If he's actually done all these things that you say he's done then, yeah, I have to. This is gonna be weird..."

Rory chuckled again at her mother's discomfort, "It's not _that_ hard, you know, being nice."

"It is when I've put so much energy into hating the guy," Lorelai said with a resigned sigh, before adding, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why is it that you want to keep him in your life so bad?"

"What?" Rory asked, slightly startled by the question.

"I mean, you two have quite a messy history, it seems a bit weird that you're suddenly okay again."

"I dunno, I just...I'm still unbelievably grateful for what he did for me after the Mitchum thing...and I guess I just missed him. We were always good at being friends, me and him, and it felt weird having him out of my life for so long."

"Seems to me you two weren't too good at _staying_ friends..." Lorelai muttered.

"Mom, trust me, all I want is his friendship," she said, and she meant it, despite the slight nagging feeling that popped up in the back of her head when she said it, "besides, I'm with Logan, and I really care about him."

"Okay, okay, I'm just saying: seeing an old ex, it's perfectly natural for some feelings to resurface."

"Nope, no feelings, no nothing," Rory said, a little too quickly for Lorelai's taste, "can we stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, sure, of course," Lorelai agreed, slightly surprised by her daughter's reaction.

"Besides," Rory said, brushing off the last part of the conversation, "we have more important things to discuss."

"Like?"

"Your wedding!"

"Oh, that," Lorelai said, with pretend levity.

"So, any preferences about your wedding, or are you just going to let me plan it completely for you?"

"Well, I definitely want there to be one..." Lorelai said, and the two trailed off into excited plans for the big day.

* * *

**A/N: Hm. Probably my least favourite chapter of this so far. But oh well, I'm kind of exhausted and have had a pretty crappy day, so it'll have to do. God, I sound negative, sorry! Please review! I'll give you a puppy! Seriously, I have one and she's driving me crazy, you'd be doing me a favour.**

**Oh, and I **_**really**_** hope the dream didn't come off as too weird, and everyone got that it was basically a copy of the conversation with Mitchum, seeing as it's left her feelings pretty mixed up. That, together with her insecurities from the dinner at the Huntzberger household, basically culminated in the dream, so please don't tell me that Logan was out of character, because it wasn't supposed to be Logan, it was Rory's insecurities talking through Logan, because it's his family that's given her them. Or something like that.**


	4. Miss Nothing

**A/N: Well, it's been a while, but here it is. I blame my lack of updating on stress while waiting for my GCSE results which I finally discovered on Tuesday, and I'm pretty happy about. Anyway, if there are any readers who've recently got their results, you have my sympathies; opening that envelope was one extremely nerve-wracking experience.**

**Anyway, about the chapter, I just wanted to say briefly that I don't necessarily agree with what I wrote about Lane, Zach and Dave in this chapter. Personally, I much prefer Lane with Dave than Zach (I find Zach quite funny, but not particularly compatible with Lane, not nearly as much so as Dave), but, for the purposes of the plot, that didn't really show.**

**Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The name of the chapter is a song by the Pretty Reckless.

* * *

**

"So, I'm not delusional, right? _The Room_ is the worst movie ever made in this universe and, quite possibly, any other? I didn't just dream it up?" Lorelai asked her daughter the next day as they walked through the town, making their usual beeline towards Luke's.

"I'm hesitant to agree to the whole 'not delusional' thing," Rory started, earning a quick glare from her mother, "but, on the whole, I'd say that's a pretty accurate assessment."

"I mean, every time you think that Tommy Wiseau's acting can't get any worse, or that they can't introduce anymore irrelevant subplots – which are never mentioned again, by the way – and each time it proves you wrong!" Lorelai continued, still in shock.

"It did truly outdo itself every time," Rory agreed, before pausing a minute. "Is it weird that I kind of want to watch it again?"

"Are you kidding? I'm watching that movie every night for the rest of my life!"

"I'm sure Luke will be thrilled."

"Hey," Lorelai said, beginning to eye her surroundings, suspiciously, "D'you get the feeling we're being followed?"

Rory rolled her eyes, "Do we need to have the paranoia discussion again? No one is out to get you, mother; that includes Grandma, Al Gore, the new guy at the video store and any members of the animal kingdom that you think are looking at you funny."

"Seriously: look around."

Sighing, Rory obeyed, and started slightly as she saw Kirk, Babette, Miss Patty and various other town members, all of whom quickly started to act as though they were engaged in conversation, staring into shop windows, or, in some cases, whistling innocently, as soon as they noticed the younger Gilmore looking at them. "What are they doing?" Rory asked, still somewhat startled.

"When have I ever been able to explain the behaviour of this town?" Lorelai asked, equally bemused.

"Have they only just found out about the engagement or something?"

"No, east-side Tilly was already spreading that all over town yesterday."

"Then what?"

"Maybe cable's out, and so they have nothing better to do than trail the two most beautiful, witty, charismatic people in town."

"Yes, I'm sure that's it," Rory replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Or..." Lorelai started, trailing off.

"Or?" Rory prompted.

"Well, honey, as far as they know, this is the first time you've seen a certain reformed hoodlum since the whole 'I love you' fiasco, and you know what these people are like when it comes to gossip; remember how they were when I was telling Luke I was engaged to Max?"

Rory's eyes darted self consciously from the diner to the slowly increasing crowd behind her, "You really think that's it?"

"Well, I still stand by my statement about the cable," Lorelai said, as they came to a halt outside the diner.

Rory sighed, "Guess I should get this over with, before one of them passes out or something."

"Are you sure? Because we could always take bets on who'll be first to faint."

"Tempting as that is, the coffee's in there."

"Good point," Lorelai said, entering the diner, trailed reluctantly by her daughter, as various members of the town gathered round the window.

They sat down at a table; Rory tried to ignore the fact that all around her conversations were being broken off. She glanced at her mother, "They still watching?"

Lorelai stole a quick look behind her, "The glass should be breaking any minute now."

"I'll go get the coffees," Rory said, making a good effort to ignore all the eyes glued to her as she walked up to the counter, where an amused looking Jess stood, already pouring out two coffees for her and Lorelai.

"Hey," he said, smirking as he passed her the two mugs. "So, this town hasn't changed at all in the two years I've been gone, huh?"

Rory laughed, relieved that he was handling the attention better than she was, "Not true, see that table over there? Mom shifted it a couple of inches to the right after she walked into it the other day."

"I stand corrected."

"The crowd dissipating yet?" Rory asked, not daring to look around.

"I'd say, if anything, it's increased in the last two minutes," Jess replied.

"You know, I feel kinda bad, I think they were expecting something a little more dramatic than this."

"If you want, I can start yelling, and then you can slap me and storm out in tears," Jess suggested, eliciting another laugh from Rory.

"I would, but I just don't think my acting skills are quite up to scratch."

"Shame, I had my heart set on an Oscar."

"You know, I hear sarcasm isn't what the Oscar judges look for when selecting the nominees."

"Well, there goes that dream."

"I hope you're not too wounded," Rory chuckled. "So, how long are you staying here for?"

"Couple of days. When Liz caught wind of the fact I was here, there wasn't much chance of a quick escape. Luke said I could stay upstairs and I volunteered out around here, I figure I owe it to the guy."

"I guess I should probably head back to the table before one of them has a seizure or something," she said, gesturing to the townspeople still straining to hear their conversation through the window.

"Sounds like a good idea, Kirk's looking pretty pale."

"That could just be because he's still scared of you," Rory said, picking up the coffees, before adding, "And don't use that knowledge to terrify him further."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Jess replied, smirking, as Rory headed back to the table.

"They all still breathing out there?" Rory asked, as she reached her mother, sitting down.

"Someone had to run back to grab Kirk's inhaler," Lorelai said, as the crowd behind her slowly began to dissipate, looking slightly disappointed. "So, that seemed to go pretty well."

"Why wouldn't it? I told you: we're friends."

Lorelai paused a minute, "Hey, does Logan know about-?"

She was cut off by the arrival of Luke, asking for their orders.

Forgetting her previous train of thought, Lorelai grinned, saying, "Well, would you look who it is? My fiancé. Well, fiancé, I'm not too sure what I want, it all looks so good; as my fiancé, what would you suggest?"

"Wow, is there any chance that he's your fiancé?" Rory asked in mock-surprise.

"Don't encourage her," Luke said, barely suppressing a smile none-the-less.

"I cannot believe that my _fiancé _won't go along with my bit," Lorelai mock-pouted. "Fine, we'll have eggs, bacon and an Empire State Building sized stack of pancakes."

"Coming up, along with the stretcher for when you pass out from all the calories."

Lorelai turned to Rory, putting on her fake 'Valley Girl' accent, "Isn't it cute how my fiancé is, like, _so_ protective of my health?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "C'mere," he said, pulling her in for a quick kiss before going off to attend to other customers.

Rory watched her mother, whose eyes were now following her husband-to-be around the diner. Noticing her grinning offspring, Lorelai asked, "What?"

"It's just – it's real, isn't it? You, Luke; it's really happening."

"Yeah, kid, it is," Lorelai said, her grin matching Rory's.

"Okay," Rory started, getting up, "I promised I'd go over to say hi to Lane before she heads off on tour, see you back at the house?"

"'Kay, tell Lane not to do anything I would do."

"I think it'd be quite hard to; I don't think Korean Adventists get much wild partying done, band or no band," Rory said, pausing a minute, her eyes flicking over to Jess. "And, mom? You remember your resolution? You'll be nice, right?"

"Hey, look at me, I'm...well I can't think of the appropriate reference at the moment, but, yes, I'll be nice," Lorelai said, sighing.

"Good. Bye, mom," Rory replied, quickly, before leaving.

Lorelai sighed, eyeing her former least favourite person in the world (discounting parents and world dictators) with distrust. To her surprise, he appeared to be serving customers with uncharacteristic politeness; not one sign of a scowl, a sarcastic remark or even one of his world-famous "huh"s. This, in combination with what Rory had told her the night before and the fact that it seemed he was volunteering to help out her fiancé, was enough to stifle her inhibitions long enough to make her trudge over to the counter, almost dragging her heels in reluctance.

Reaching the counter, she looked him in the eye, and mustered her friendliest, "Hey, Jess."

"Hey," was what she got in response, as well as a somewhat tentative, awkward smile which was returned in equal measure. "Coffee?"

Thankful to have something to respond to, she nodded her assent. _So far, so good_, she thought, trying to rise above the awkwardness. When she didn't hate the guy, it was hard to think of what to say to the punk – huh, she'd have to stop referring to him in her head as a punk – especially since the only things she'd ever said to him in the past were usually in the form of a yelled rant. Thankfully, she was saved from having to think of something further to say (because God knew what was capable of coming out of her mouth when she felt uncertain) by Jess, "So, congratulations."

After a moment's surprise, Lorelai recovered, saying, "Thank you, I hope you can make it to the wedding, I know Luke would really want you there."

"I'll see what I can do," he said, before they lapsed into another pause, both of them grasping around for something else to say. "You made any wedding plans yet?"

"Other than the vague desire to walk down the aisle to Metallica in order to annoy my mother? None."

"Good choice of band," he remarked, approvingly.

"It was a toss-up between that and ACDC, but I think that might actually cause her to pass out, which would lead to complications that I'm just not prepared to deal with, so Metallica it is."

"You can always hold the ACDC back for the reception," Jess suggested.

"I always thought _Highway to Hell_ would be good first dance material," Lorelai said with a grin.

"If you follow it up with some Ramones you'll have a real cultured event on your hands."

"And it'll probably drive my mother into having an aneurism: perfect!"

"Not to mention what it'd do to Taylor."

Lorelai mock-gasped, "I'd forgotten about Taylor! That's it, the music for my wedding has been decided; d'you think Luke'll mind?"

"If it'll damage Taylor in some way, it won't be a problem with Luke. Besides, I always suspected he was a closet rocker," Jess replied, and Lorelai recognised some of his old sarcasm, but now it seemed more intended to mirror her own than to cause offence, like his past remarks often were.

Lorelai snorted, "Tell that to his _Reggae Fever _CD."

For the first time in her acquaintance with Jess, she heard him let out a low, genuine chuckle, before he replied, smirking, "Thank you, you've given me mocking material for a lifetime."

"I can see I'm making a very loyal fiancée already," Lorelai replied, before stopping to marvel at the fact that she might just have had a pleasant conversation with Jess Mariano. _Maybe he really has changed_, she thought to herself, as she was reminded once again of what Rory had told her he did for her. "Hey, Jess? I heard what you did for Rory the other night, and I just wanted to say thanks; she really needed a friend after what happened, and just...thank you."

"It was nothing, I just told her what she needed to hear, you would've done the same thing."

"I think," Lorelai paused, before continuing, "I think she needed to hear it from you. Your opinion's always meant a lot to her, I hope you know that." She paused again, before grabbing her to-go cup, and saying, "Thanks for the coffee, I better get to the inn, I'll see you around," and turning to leave.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm friends with someone who's about to go on tour, I feel cooler just sitting next to you right now," Rory said to Lane, reaching into one of the drawers that she knew contained a pack of Pringles that had been hidden from Zach and Brian as she talked.

"Oh yeah, because the fact that all our tour venues are Korean churches doesn't negate the coolness at all," Lane replied, sarcastically.

"Hey, a tour's a tour, missy," Rory said, false strictness in her tone. "I still can't believe that Mrs Kim would condone it, let alone arrange it herself."

"She has been pretty amazing about the whole thing, hasn't she?" Lane said, smiling. "And the fact that she's toned down the Korean hell dog cursing so that Zach no longer hides behind me when she enters a room's a big bonus, as well."

"I can see that that'd be an improvement," Rory agreed. "And things with Zach are good?"

A smile tugged at Lane's lips as she replied, "Yeah, they're great, perfect, even. What about Logan?"

"Yeah, Logan's- me and him are...everything's perfect there, too," Rory replied, averting her eyes slightly, deep in thought for a minute. "Hey, Lane? D'you think if, say, Dave suddenly came back into your life, you'd start to feel differently about Zach? I mean, it's natural, isn't it? When you see an ex, it's natural to feel...something, right?"

Lane frowned slightly in thought, before saying, "Y'know I've thought about what it'd be like to see Dave again a few times since I got together with Zach, and it just made me realise...I'm over him. He was my first real boyfriend, but that doesn't change the fact that he was still just a high school boyfriend; me and Zach...it just feels different, y'know?"

Rory nodded, and Lane sensed that her answer hadn't been what her friend wanted to hear, though she was unable to discern why, "Right, right, of course. So you don't think you'd feel anything, seeing him again?"

"Not anything more than friendship, no. Why are you asking all this?"

"Never mind, it was stupid, just forget I said anything."

Lane paused a minute, before saying, "Look, I didn't want to say anything unless you brought it up, but it's all over town about Jess being back; is that what this is about?"

"Kind of," Rory hesitated. "Really, it was nothing, it's just- is it weird, that after all this time, I still feel kind of...connected to him?"

"Not necessarily. I mean, you and Jess always had a lot in common, and you two always seemed kind of...in sync, I guess, despite how different you guys were, it always seemed like you knew each other well, just automatically. You probably just felt that again seeing him; I mean, you still want to be with Logan, right?"

"Right," Rory said, before repeating, with more feeling, "Right! Of course I do! I just don't think I ever got any real closure with Jess, so seeing him just makes a lot of 'what if' scenarios spring up in my mind, but it's stupid, it's in the past. What Logan and I have, that's real; I know it is."

"Look, why don't you try talking to Jess again? You can try to determine whether what you feel when you're around him is just a lack of closure and a willingness to be friends, or whether it's something more."

Rory met Lane's eyes again, uncertainly, "And what if it's something more?"

"Then you immediately jump in the car and head to wherever I am on tour to allow me to live vicariously through you, of course."

"Good plan," Rory said, laughing.

"So, I've been fairly patient, are you ready to fill me in on the actual details of what happened when you saw him again?"

Rory sighed, beginning to recount the Mitchum debacle for a third time, quite happy to find that the sting that usually came with thinking about it wasn't as acute as it had been before.

* * *

Rory walked back from Lane's trying – and failing – to clear her head of all thoughts of what she'd alluded to in their conversation. It shouldn't be like this; she'd invented several scenarios in her head during Jess' long absence from her life of what it'd be like to see him again, and in all of them she'd imagined being able to finally realise that she was over him, and to lose that gnawing feeling she'd been carrying around since he'd left for California. But, instead, she still felt the bizarre need for his approval, and the familiar craving to spend more time with him that she'd felt when she was seventeen, the craving for him to stay put and not slip through her fingers again.

But surely Lane was right, it was all due to lack of closure; her and Jess had never even officially broken up, it was only natural that she'd still feel something when she saw him, and that didn't mean anything. After all, she _did _really care about Logan, and what she had with him was different than what she had had with Jess; it was adult, _real_. Anything that she felt when she saw Jess was just residual feelings that she'd never had a chance to deal with after his abrupt departure; that was all. Now that he was back in her life, she'd finally be able to deal with those feelings, and then they'd be able to be friends, they'd always been good at being friends.

It was with this thought in her head that she changed direction, veering away from the familiar root home, going instead down a path that she hadn't trodden in over a year, afraid of the feelings that would arise when she reached her destination. But now she had nothing to fear; she was in a healthy relationship with a guy that she could probably grow to love with time, and seeing an old, decrepit bridge shouldn't change that.

She should probably have guessed that she wouldn't be the only one visiting the bridge, but her resolution had temporarily blinded her to that option, leading her to be surprised when she saw Jess' lone figure as she approached, his legs dangling off the edge like she'd seen them do so many times before. Briefly, she wondered whether to turn back but, recalling Lane's advice to see how she felt talking to him, she pressed on, taking a seat next to him.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Jess turned his head to look at her, smirking as he replied, "I'm surprised this place wasn't torn down after I left, to eradicate the evidence that I was ever here."

"Well, we'd already had the 'rebuild the bridge' and the 'buy a tarp for the bridge' fundraisers, the 'tear down the bridge' fundraiser would have seemed a bit strange after that."

"I guess so," he paused. "I talked to your mom earlier."

"Oh yeah? Were any civilians harmed in the process?" Rory quipped.

"No casualties this time, it was actually...civil, more than civil, I'd say it even bordered on friendly," he said, in pretend horror.

"Wow," she said, mimicking his tone. "Well, if you've got Lorelai Gilmore's approval, next thing you know you'll actually be invited to partake in town events."

"Ugh, don't say that."

"Maybe next time you'll be a participant in the Dance Marathon instead of just a spectator," Rory teased, further.

"Please, stop talking."

"Maybe Taylor will even ask you to be Ice Cream King!"

"Stop!"

She laughed, "Hey, don't knock it, I was very nearly Ice Cream Queen, I'll have you know."

"Now that I wish I could've seen."

"Hey, you take up the job of King and maybe I'll reconsider, together we could rule this town and all its confectionary."

Her eyes snapped away from his as they both realised the implications of the word 'together', and were engulfed in a thick silence. Rory's face burned as she tried to remind herself that she was almost twenty one, she wasn't the embarrassed seventeen year old she'd been when they'd first met, she shouldn't be blushing at the mere implication of them being together. She was quickly pulled out of these thoughts by the ringing of her cell phone. Seeing it was Logan, guilt immediately ran through her, causing her to quickly mutter, "I have to take this," and snap open the phone, turning her face away from Jess slightly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ace." There was a slight edge to his voice that made her wonder stupidly whether he could sense what she'd been thinking from twenty two point eight miles away.

Quickly dismissing that excessively paranoid thought, she replied "Hey, Logan!" in a voice so overly chipper that it made her cringe slightly.

"How's life in small town bliss?"

She was right, he definitely sounded off. Wondering what was up, she replied, somewhat distractedly, "Great, everything's great, I've just been catching up with a few old friends."

"Old friends, huh? Like that guy you were with at Yale?"

Rory's heart sunk. That was what she'd detected in his voice: jealousy. She'd known that he'd had something of a jealous streak after how he was at Finn's party back when they weren't exclusive, but she had no idea how he'd react to an ex-boyfriend of hers. Suddenly very aware of Jess' presence beside her, she replied, "Yeah, old friends like that."

"So that's what he was? A friend?" he pressed, and she could practically sense his frown as he asked her that.

"Yes, of course, don't be ridiculous. When did you see us, anyway?"

"I was on my way to say goodbye to you before you left for Stars Hollow and I saw you two on the way to the library. You looked pretty darn cosy together, practically skipping."

Rory rolled her eyes, beginning to feel annoyed, "Well, as I said, he's an old friend."

"And that's all?"

"Are you seriously accusing me of this?"

"Hey, I'm not accusing you of anything; I'm just stating what I saw, that's all."

"And I explained to you what you saw."

"Well, good then, now that's all cleared up," he replied, in a voice that told her he had no intention of letting the subject drop, despite his words. "Hey, here's an idea, why don't we all have dinner sometime?"

Rory faltered, "What?"

"You're always wanting me to meet your old friends, so bring him," he persisted, adding on, "Bring Lane, too, we can make it a real 'Rory Gilmore: This Is Your Life' kinda dinner."

"But- but Lane's on tour starting tomorrow," Rory protested, weakly.

"Guess it's just us three, then."

"But-"

"Hey, if this guy's a friend of yours, I wanna meet him. He is your friend, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Great, then it's settled? How about tomorrow? I'll swing by at around eight tomorrow, we can head up to Hartford; he can follow us. He does have a car, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he does, but don't you think-"

"I guess I'll see you then, Ace," he said, and she felt like screaming at the dialling tone in frustration.

Turning back to Jess, not quite knowing what she'd gotten them both into, she said, with a slightly apologetic smile, "Sorry about that."

"No problem," he said, in that annoying, nonchalant way that he'd mastered as a teen.

"That was Logan, my, uh, boyfriend; I think I mentioned him the other night, his dad's the one that..."

"Right."

"Anyway, he saw us, the other day at Yale. And, I dunno why, I guess he wants to get to know my old friends, but he was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us? Tomorrow?" Before he could reply, she quickly continued, "I can totally understand if you don't want to do it, I can get you out of it, please don't feel obligated to."

"No, it's, uh, it's fine," Jess said, after a moment's pause.

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking at him, uncertainly, annoyed that, after all this time, he could still make his expression unreadable when he wanted to.

"Yeah," he said with a nod, before attempting to lighten the mood by adding, "Hopefully I'll make a better first impression on him that I did with your mom."

She allowed herself to let out a nervous laugh, "That probably won't be too hard, considering that was one of the world's worst first impressions."

"Well, how about I don't steal his beer or accuse him of sleeping with Luke, sound good?"

"Perfect," Rory chuckled. "So you're _sure_ about-"

"Rory, relax, it's fine," he said, cutting her off.

"Okay," she said, letting out a deep breath. "So, have you given up carrying your books around via back pocket?" she asked, at length, gesturing to the bag next to him.

He smirked, shaking his head and pulling a book out of his back pocket, "Old habits die hard."

_Don't I know it_, Rory thought, briefly, before quickly shrugging it off and falling into the familiar banter that they'd managed to recapture over their last few conversations, as she grabbed the book off him to inspect his margin notes.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review!**


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